As I sit in a nearby traditional Singapore Coffee Shop, sipping my over-sweet Nescafe 'Copio', writing this after a long day at work, surrounded by the ambling throng of Orchard Road, I can't help but think back to a more relaxed state of being; Mexico was a magical place, forming a lovely, lasting impression of contentment on an ever frowning brow. Amongst such glorious surroundings as the Mexican Coast and the lush Yucatan forests, the wedding of Will and Carolina took on an enchanting aspect. I can’t think of a nicer place to go back to...
“I found Jesus in Mexico... Amazing because he is always in the last place you look.”
Burger KingThe 4 hours I spent in Miami airport en-route, was a very un-cool experience. Let me say on the outset that the people in Miami Airport are either Sumo-mongous, or very tiny. Everyone spoke Spanish, hardly anyone spoke English. Even the Information Desk lady struggled when I asked where my connecting flight was leaving from: “Gaydafoeeay” She said, smiling. “What?” I said, leaning in a little closer. “Gayyyydaaa! FoeeeAaaaay!” she said, louder, slower and eyebrows raised alarmingly, “GAAAAyye..Foeee..Aay?” I repeated, even s-l-o-w-e-r, my eyebrows raised so high to be resting somewhere near the back of my neck. Eventually I handed her a piece of paper and a pen. She wrote down “Gate 48!” Oh silly me..
Lunch was more American, and not in any good way. With only the Tex Mex Café, Burger King or Philly Pizzas to satisfy my hunger, I headed to Burger King. Everyone in front of me ordered something called a “Extreme XXX Whopper”. This was a massive construction of three dinner plate-sized beef patties, each smothered with slabs of orange cheese and pounds of dripping bacon, all pressed between two halves of a soccer ball-sized bread roll. The plastic trays literally bowed under the weight of a couple of these babies. The poor plastic food court chairs splayed alarmingly when these massive customers sat down to tuck in. I felt positively anorexic in this company.
I was happy to leave this place. I was looking for peace and quiet and some cultural dignity, and I was anxious to see if Mexico was going to live up to my hopes…
México MagicOn my first morning, I woke up at 5am and went for a walk around the Azul Beach Resort in the misty silence. The only sounds were my own breathing and the sand shifting beneath my feet as I walked along the deserted beach in my shorts and Polo top. It was truly beautiful; in the morning haze, the glowing hint of the sun created pink and orange coronas around the edges of the towering, distant clouds and the silverly-blue light hypnotic as it shimmered on the sea. Small bamboo huts with thatched roofs and white lacy walls sat lightly on the sand like four-poster beds, their walls waving gracefully in the tiny breeze. Nothing had prepared me for such a feeling of peace and wonder that morning.
I stepped slowly into the warm, salty bay, walking out until only my head remained above water. Nothing stirred, nothing moved, only the breeze caused things to shimmer ever so slightly, like pushing pause on a video. Suddenly and silently, a small brown Pelican glided just inches past me, its wing tips just millimetres above the water, raising an even larger smile on my face. As the avian intruder became a small black dot on the silver horizon, I stood there in the water, breathing, listening to my heartbeat until even that seemed to disappear, happy as I’d ever been. When, an hour or so later, I climbed out of this silvery dream I sat on the sand, wrapped in my huge pink and orange towel and watched the sun rise slowly and silently in front of me. Shakespeare was right: “
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”
Breakfast at the resort was wonderful, with friends and families assembling noisily and happily, treating themselves to a whole range of Mexican treats: coriander scrambled eggs, spicy beef sausages, Burritos, Tamales, Refried Beans, Huevos Rancheros, all with spicy tomato salsa, great coffee and fresh orange juice. Talk centred on the wedding later that afternoon, the food, the great rooms, the fantastic beach and so on. No-one mentioned work or home. Mexican guests arrived throughout the morning, setting up camp in people’s rooms, to shower, dress and look tres cool in the hot, humid sunshine.
Horse and Carriage
Of course the focal point of this trip, the Reson D’etre for this gathering, was Love and Marriage - specifically, the wedding of Will and Carolina. These two lovely friends had invited about 50 people to the other side of the world from almost everywhere, and everyone who could come, did. That’s an amazing testimony to the love people feel for these two.
Sorted into our fineries, the men in formal suits and ties, the women in gorgeous dresses, we were witness to a serious-yet-fun affair. After the cute-but-earnest flower girls walked in throwing rose petals over the wooden duckboard path through the sand, Carolina and her Father arrived on the beach to greet Will and his Best Band of Brothers. During the ceremony, the celebrant said some beautiful words, emphasising the need for love and truth and communication, but also how important it was for the couple to continue to play and smile. After becoming husband and wife, the beaming couple kissed and smiled - then the Etta James classic song filled the air (“
At last, my love has come along, My lonely days are over…”), causing a rush for the tissues amongst the happy throng…
You can Mariachi my Maracas anytimeAfter the ceremony, and after a few pool-side games and champagnes, we strolled happily into the reception, the main outside dining area of the resort. The traditional Mexican food was just wonderful, the beer icy cold, the desserts rich and sweet. Everyone was treated to a gift set of Maracas, ‘Will & Carolina’ thongs (flip-flops), a silly straw hat and a bright bandana. Dancing came easy to this happy crowd; they even knew all the words to all the Mexican songs being played. Once the beautifully dressed, authentic Mariachi Band arrived with massive Sombreros, everyone was up, in long linked groups, swaying and singing to the great live music. It was fantastic. At one point someone shouted out “Cielito Lindo, por favor!” They launched into it and everyone sang their lungs out. If you don’t know Cielito Lindo, it’s that stereotypical Mexican song, the one most of us know as the “Ai… Yi.. Yi Yi!” song.
We were all delightedly damp and happily hoarse by the end of the long night; those that could walk headed to the Tequila Bar to down some shots and drink a great Mexican dark beer called ‘Leon’. It was a lethal concoction for some; at one point I remember kissing everyone good night, being very happy and very drunk, walking alone along the dark beach front, putting plastic necklaces (don’t ask me where I got them from), around all the mermaid and sea goddess statues around the resort. I vaguely remember finding my room and falling on my bed, but not much else until I woke up with a smile on my face and sand between my toes…
A MañanaLate the next morning, after a long indulgent shower, a slow and spicy breakfast and a cool and relaxing swim (wondering, where did the statues get all those necklaces?), I had a long decadent massage. In a bamboo hut set on stilts, lying face down over the gentle waves crashing below me, I had 90 minutes of a fragrant, firm Swedish massage by one of the cute Mexican girls that Miki had recommended. My body almost collapsed from the long, smooth pummelling my muscles were getting, a perfect cure for squeezing out the tension (and toxins), of a hard working year and a long heavy night of dancing and drinking. It was bliss and I struggled to keep awake, the rhythm of the massage matching the ebb and flow of the waves below zzzzzz…
I spent the next two days swimming in the turquoise sea or sun-bathing on my lounge chair reading a trashy novel. The Beach Butlers hovered gently each day, ensuring I had ample supplies of seafood and freshly made Pina Coladas delivered regularly to my lounge chair. A truly terrible ordeal…
After the wedding guests left the resort, high heels in one hand, Maracas in the other, wearing their silly straw hats over their bright bandanas, sweeping up all the confetti before them, the extended Pohl and Shugg families herded into two buses for a guided tour of Mexico with Carlos the Wonder Driver.
1. The Sacred Blue Canote
Our first stop, located in the Eco-archeological Park Ik Kil, just under 3 hours from the hotel was an underground wonderland, an underground water hole called the "Sacred Blue Cenote". This perfectly round, well-type of cenote, sunk about 85 feet below ground, with an opening to the Yucatán sky, offered a magical place to relax and swim. Long, searching roots draped down the sides of the hole, with the crystal clear waters illuminated by the sunny Mexican sky above. The ever-running waterfalls gently cascaded down through the roof, creating a soothing and peaceful background sound at the pool. What a truly amazing place.
2. Chichen ItzaThe ruins of Chichen Itza (or ‘Chicken Pizza’ as I remember it), one of the 7 Wonders of the World, lie about midway between Cancun and Merida, so it only took us 3 hours via the crowded highway in our air-conditioned chariots. We walked onto the grounds in hot blazing sunshine, in the middle of a large open field, at the base of the Pyramid when the heavens opened and we spent the next 20 minutes dog-paddling from tree to tree, chasing our guide (let’s call him Ralph). Undeterred by the torrential rain and the booming thunder, Ralph (under a massive umbrella), just kept walking about, reeling off facts and figures about the ruins. Suddenly the rain stopped, the sun came out, the humidity hit three figures, and a lovely dog appeared at our feet. Drenched, but warm and happy, we spent the afternoon following Ralph’s dramatic discourse, now with cute dog in tow. This is what I remembered after I knocked the water out my ears…
2.1 The Pyramid of KukulkanTowering above the other buildings at 90 feet (27m) high is the wonderfully dramatic Pyramid of Kukulkan. Two of its sides have been completely restored, the other two were left to show the condition before work commenced. Each side has 91 steps, and adding the platform at the top as a final step (and a bit of a cheat of you ask me), makes 365 in total, one for every day of the year. Ralph said that on the spring and autumn equinoxes, the shadow of the sun plays on the stairs, causing the illusion of a snake slithering down the pyramid in the direction of the cenote (sink hole). It is a wondrous structure to behold and touch and clap at (great acoustics), but Ralph told us that some tourists have been taking the stones as souvenirs and leaving graffiti, so you can no longer climb to the top – which is a shame as it’s something I had always wanted to do.
2.2 The Ball Court (Juego de Pelota)
Chichen Itza’s Great Ball Court is the largest of its kind in the Maya world. The playing area is 545 feet (166m) long by 225 feet (69m) wide. The two long sides are bounded by high vertical faces, the two shorter sides by rectangular temples. Halfway up along each of the long sides are the ‘goals', actually large stone rings, and the objective was to knock a rubber ball through them. According to Ralph, the game involved two teams, each able to hit the ball only with elbows, wrists or hips (who makes these rules?). Ralph was eager to point out that this was no casual sport, leading us to weathered but clear carvings of one team member with blood spurting from his headless neck, whilst another holds the head aloft. Supposedly it was an honour to be sacrificed in this way. Me, I’d settle for a small trophy and the meat tray.
2.3 Hacienda Chichen
Our hotel for the night was the first hacienda built in Yucatan, around 1523. According to the posters and old drawings in the Foyer, this hacienda was built to establish a centre for Spanish rule over the Mayans and functioned as a cattle ranch. Located on the fringes of the Chichen Itza site, the Hacienda Chichen was a perfect base to explore the Pyramids, and had a lovely old chapel in the lush gardens. My only complaint was the very noisy air conditioning keeping me awake. But as they say in this part of the world:
"In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well."
3. Merida
Our next stop was Mérida, on the Yucatan Peninsula. We based ourselves here for 3 days while we explored the surrounding landscape and the wonders of Izamal, Uxmal and spotted some Pink Flamingos.
3.1 Izamal
Just 40 minutes from Merida was Izamal, Yucatan’s officially ‘magical’ town. The first thing that catches your eye (assuming you are not colour blind), is that the town is painted egg-yolk yellow: all the colonial buildings, the market, the huge convent, absolutely everything. If you stand still long enough little guys with paint cans and brushes start eyeing you off, measuring you up for a coat of ‘Izamal Standard’. Better to keep moving about in this town. The cobblestone streets and colonial lampposts completed the colonial aspect. Clean, peaceful and quaint, this was a great town to stroll around. There were Mayan pyramids, colonial-style buildings, parks, plazas, great horses and buggies and even an ATM machine. Izamal was conquered by the Spaniards, and the monks in their eagerness to convert the Mayan Indians to Catholicism gave the city its religious distinction. To this day, Izamal's people are very devoted to the Immaculate Virgin. I tried to meet her Virginal One-ness, but she was out having her ‘Immaculate’ lessons when I got there.
In the middle of all this yellow was the biggest yellow thing of all - the Franciscan ‘Convent San Antonio’ that was built over one of the Mayan pyramids. This sprawling yellow pile is equally infamous for the monk Fray Diego de Landa, its founder, who, being grumpy for missing his morning coffee or having a bad hair day, burned all the rare and unique historical Mayan scripts, and then (shit! shit! shit!), felt remorse for what he had done (bit bloody late now), and tried to rewrite all he could remember of the ways of the Mayans. So you can blame him for everything we don’t know about the Mayans.
3.2 Uxmal
The next day we headed to the nearby pre-Columbian ruined city of Uxmal, pronounced "
Oosh-mahl". It is considered by many archaeologists as one of the finest examples of an ancient Maya city, but I was dying to go there for other reasons. Firstly I had heard there was a pyramid built overnight by a dwarf magician (this I had to see), and secondly, I had heard that I could actually climb one of the Pyramids :-)
The wonderfully imposing “
Pyramid of the Magician”, standing 117 feet (38 m) high, dominates your view as you enter the complex. Standing there like a big-bottomed woman in a wide skirt, this elliptical pyramid is the result of five superimposed temples. This is the one the dwarf built overnight to become king. He must have really wanted the job.
Peeking from behind this overnight miracle was “
The Great Pyramid”. Originally nine levels high, The Great Pyramid had been partially restored. It seems that another temple was to be superimposed on the existing structure and some demolition had taken place before the plans were halted, leaving the pyramid in bad condition. But I didn’t care, because here I finally fulfilled a childhood dream and was allowed to climb a Mayan pyramid, treading in the footsteps of the Mayan Kings. The climb was extremely steep, especially on a hot humid day, but going down was more worrying as the steps were less than my foot long and dropped at an alarming angle. But I loved it, reveling in my dream fulfilled.
I’m not saying that there was unnecessary cruelty during Mayan times, but according to their own chronicles (and of course the helpful carvings in the ball court), there were human sacrifices performed at the highest temple of the nearby “House of the Magician”. Obviously, with full justification and permission of the authorities, with the victim still alive, the priest would rip out the heart with a flint knife, and throw the body (allegedly still moving) down the steep steps. As I said, I am sure the Mayans had a perfectly good explanation for doing this…
3.3 Hacienda Yaxcopoil
Later in the afternoon we arrived at a traditional Yucatan Hacienda. The name of this sprawling 17th century pile literally means "
The place of the green Alamo trees" and offered a look back at the glory days of Yucatan haciendas - this classically beautiful home spanned over 22,000 acres and three centuries of historical settlement: the pre-hispanic period, Spanish colonial times and the years of henquen (cactus fibre) production. The large traditional rooms of the Casa Principal (the residence of the owner) had authentic antiques and furnishings from the old days and the Chapel had an oil painting of its patron saint, San Geronimo de Yaxcopoil. In "The Mayan Room" were original Mayan pottery and other artefacts found on the grounds dating back to the "classic period" 250-900 AD. But this was all just girlie stuff – downstairs in the Barn was the he-man stuff: massive, greasy diesel engines that powered the threshing, crushing and weaving machines for the working farm.
3.4 Pink Flaming Dingos
The highlight of our last day in Yucatan was a boat excursion through the tidal estuary of the Ria Celestun Biosphere Reserve, affording us views and photo opportunities of the vast flocks of flamingos and a walk through the sloughs that penetrate the dense mangrove forests that flank the estuary. I have never forgotten a small girl in Adelaide call out “Look mum, Pink Flaming Dingos”, at a ‘flock’ of plastic flamingos in a garden centre. Ha ha…
We were instructed to board one of the 8-seater boats navigated by Pedro the Wonder Guide, our
muy amable young barcadero, who provided very informative commentary identifying the various species of flora and fauna and explaining the sights. After we settled into our seats we were off on a speedy 20 minute dash down the Gulf coast to the estuary entrance.
According to Pedro, the limestone bedrock beneath the shallow water imparts a stony, grey hue to the otherwise turquoise Gulf water and an even darker hue to the water of the shallower estuary. After entering the estuary Pedro steered the boat north, then cut the engine to drift silently closer to large flocks of shy and very pink flamingos. Their pinkness, Pedro informed us, was due to their beta-carotene rich prawn diet. The prawns themselves were made pink from eating micro-organisms coloured bright red by red tannins leached from leaves into the bay during the rainy season. There are also lots of grey and white pelicans, cormorants, vultures circling overhead and egrets, but no-one was watching them, they just weren’t pink.
Taking the boat into the mangroves was an eerie experience, like floating past a prehistoric massacre – the trees and roots looked like the bleached bones of some major beast and the still, bracken water was tannin-stained blood red in places, looking all the while as if the primeval battle had only just ended.
4. Playa Del Carmen
The final 2 days of our magical mystery tour put us back on the beach for some coastal R&R, based at the Shangrila Caribe Resort, for some more sun and surf. Most notable was the warm weather, sumptuous seafood, soft white sand, topless Spanish beauties and the feisty land crabs that I battled with both mornings on my way to breakfast.
We popped into Cancun for an afternoon of ‘civilised’ shopping, but this was more depressing than I was expecting; sprawling plastic malls of American franchises, sitting across the road from massive examples of the usual hotel chains, all jostling for space on the overwhelmed beach front. I found no joy here except for one place –
Johnny Rockets. Johnny Rockets is an American burger restaurant franchise whose motif is to recreate the American diners of the 1940s and 1950s, with decor including jukeboxes, lots of chrome and red leather seats, and customers are waited on by waiters and waitresses dressed in New York Yankee stripes and caps. The staff even burst into a small song and dance and made smiley faces of ketchup on my plate of fries. But the Peanut Butter Thickshake was just too much. Burp.
Hasta la vista
Well that’s it, Mexico, a perfect refuge from the modern world and all its worries, and a perfect place to get married as it turns out.
Of course I’m sure I over-romanticised the whole thing. I do that sometimes.
Walter el Perro Pedorrero x(A kid said this when I said my name was Walter – it means ‘Walter the Farting Dog’)
The days zoomed by and I ran out of time to see anyone else (for which I truly apologise), and pretty soon I found myself back in a taxi, heading back to the airport. But this time the class was Business, the sleeping arrangements horizontal, the bubbly French and the 6 hour wait in KL bearable (in the first-class lounge). But it took almost 40hrs, door-to-door, so I was frankly knackered by the time I climbed the 45 stairs, opened my door, and collapsed onto my bed. 
Easter Monday was a grand affair, with my beloved Oxford crowd (Lynne and Jon, Clare and Luiz, Olivia and Ben, Jess and Cliff, Catharina), and me, all squeezing into my cosy apartment for a long, slow, Tuscan lunch. After my chemistry-set dining experience at Melbourne's Interlude (
So although a little late now... 
And with everyone back home seemingly getting engaged, getting married or getting pregnant, it’s only making things worse as I find myself treading water in 'that' department. So everyone, please give me a break and just wait until I get back home before you get any more engaged, married or numerous. I need time to adapt (adopt?) and catch up :)
